I am grateful and honored to be able to start this project. I have wanted to start my own blog for sometime. I didn’t know the name, I didn’t know the niche, there was always a reason and a forecast for the season that would make me feel as though I couldn’t begin. Recently, I’ve been led to dive in. No marketing, no further discussion.
Launching in this season has been and remains seamless. I created the name and this website by myself a little over a year ago. I want to say, this time last year I really wanted to take off, but I quickly realized that I had a couple more things to learn ….
“You have to ACTUALLY be that girl..”
Last year, around this time, I had someone staying with me. She was in a transitionary period in life. The way life works I obliged to help in the best way I could. I wasn’t in the best situation. But I felt, if even I have a little bit and it could help, why not. If she were me I would hope someone would help, if they could.
Anyways, she was with me and I had told her of my plans to start this blog. She claimed to have an eye for media businesses, and she told me she once had a blog as well. I thought it was perfect. I believed, maybe that God had aligned everything like this to help me launch my blog!!!
Since she knew the ropes she could help me. I created the page and because I appreciated and honored her time I presented her my website and tried to accomplish the things she advised me to do promptly! She would instruct me on what I would need to run this blog. She said things like “You need to know your why, your vision.” she said, “You need you have at least 6 post ready on standby.”
At that time I really wanted to show her that I was serious and honored her help. She would say it, and I would get it done. She was in between jobs so when I went to work I’d send her my website link so she could see my post and page design.
The last time I mentioned my blog to her, I asked if she had yet checked out the page and the things I had been prepping to post. Things like my life experiences and lessons, she said she hadn’t done it yet.
I mentioned how she didn’t have faith in me, and she confirmed that she didn’t. She said she knew I’d start then quit, it wasn’t the first time she said it actually, when she would ask about my “why.” She’d be like “what is your goal, if your goal is just to XYZ then you wont do this long you’ll quit.” It seems I didn’t hear the HEART of what she was saying, looking back, I was so determined to launch. I didn’t care to hear her.
But it was the statement that I titled this post that REALLY got the message across to me. She asked me who I hoped to be like, (my end goal) what bloggers I admired. I mentioned my favorite influencers such as Jalisa Vaughn, a blogger and influencer whose life I have admired from a far. I appreciate her consistency. And whenever I DM her I’m surprised at the turn around time. I love her life and family, she used to blog but now heavily focused on Instagram influencing from what I’ve seen of her content. Instagram is a platform I aim to utilize in future.
I mentioned Dearra. She does mostly YouTube. I don’t know her personally but I admire the way she carries herself on social media. She communicates a wonderful bubbly presence and is open and respectful to trying and exploring other cultures. I told her how that is something that I love to do. Experience cultures and activities.
I didn’t mention this one to her but since we are here I want to shout out another creator that I enjoy, khaenotbae on tik tok. Some may know her as the originator of “the girls who get it get it and the ones who don’t, don’t.” Her content and intellect is inspiring. Her speaking points and reads are always entertaining.
back to the story..
After answering, she began her rebuttal. This day she repeated a lot of things she had said to me prior but the thing that stuck out to me was, “if you want to be like them you ACTUALLY have to be that girl.”
In that moment everything clicked. I decided never to mention this blog again to her. Which I didn’t.
Looking back that moment was monumental, in retrospect, it changed the trajectory of what it was that I wanted to do and be. It opened my heart and mind to the knowledge a different world. A world where I am not that girl? I would NEVER want to visit there!
The funny thing about the conversation, was that I NEVER questioned whether I was that girl or not. It was more so a confusion, because I knew I was her and I was shocked at the fact that she didn’t know it. And if she didn’t, could it be that other people didn’t know also also? How do I get this message across?
It’s felt like someone telling me that I’m not a black woman, when I KNOW that I am. I look at a black woman in the mirror everyday!
I had to deal with a couple of things, including why I cared to prove myself, If I wanted to prove myself and most importantly, it made me ask myself wait- but who is she to help you? No seriously! WHO IS SHE?
I want everyone to understand one thing. Who you are in your head, IS who you are. BE bold and audacious. Walk, talk, and behave like that person. It is not a tomorrow thing it is today, right now.
I think a lot of us have this idea that who we vision ourselves to be is a goal post that we have to get to. Once accomplished. THEN we have “arrived.” What if that is already here, in us, and we are supposed to embody this. TODAY.
This is confirmed in the bible and through the laws of this experience. For example the law of assumption.
Let me clarify- I am a BBB (bible believing babe.)
Law of Assumption: Whatever you Assume to be true becomes your reality. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Proverb 23:7
Even though people may tell you who they think you are, or what you should do, it is always good to have the head start on your identity by deciding first. I KNOW that, I AM. And as long as this is a fact in my heart, it is a fact in the world. I don’t explain it, I just am it. What do they say what’s understood doesn’t need to be explained.
I don’t wish to bash that friend. Honestly I appreciate her so much for making that Law even more so apparent to me! I hope that she too knows this law because when you don’t, just as I did, you stop your plans and overwork yourself.
I also learned, that someone’s perception is not my reality.
When you don’t understand the law, you’ll do things like fight gravity, when the law of gravity exists. Fighting gravity sounds just as stupid as it looks. We can’t fight these laws, we can only work with and use them as tools to empower and move forward. Whoever created the Sails on a sailboat understood the assignment. They didn’t fight the wind, they harness it.
And surely, half of the battle is in the knowing.
I say all this to say. It’s THAT girl here. And Welcome to Without Further Adu.
