“Communication is not key, comprehension is” “We need to learn how to communicate” “We can talk it out” “How are you going to (xyz) without us at least talking it out.”
This might be my unpopular opinion, is this going to be a rant? Maybe, let me rant a bit. BUT I need yall to promise that you will let me land, please! I am so sick of you people I call yall the “Communication Nation” You people who love to communicate every little thing. Some things that don’t need to be communicated there you go, looking for conversation, closure, I don’t know, looking for someone’s time to waste. The word communication, actually hates to see you coming! Im sure when therapist told us to start communicating I do not think this is where they intended this term to go. But I must say in my african of africanesss tones WILLL YOU SHUTOPPP!
Now, I am not saying there aren’t such thing as genuine misunderstandings. I want yall to understand, when a misunderstanding is GENUNE , we don’t only communicate with words. Communication can be done with body language, energy. When there is a genuine misunderstanding you are even more comfortable to communicate and address IN THE moment or even sit back and internally rationalize the situation. Think about all the times where there were GENUINE misunderstandings. You were able to nip it in the bud, it was easy, half the time you felt within yourself that this is genuine, but let me clarify. ONE CAN TELL. Humans are smart, don’t believe the hype or the manipulators (people who use weaponized incompetence to act like they don’t know or feel anything)
I remember dealing with a person who used communication as their favorite weapon. Lets call him, Luke. Luke would say things like “women don’t like to communicate, men are not mind readers” Luke would also engage in the most foul behavior. Behavior that he would not like done to him, and then pretend he didn’t know that what he did was not going to be received well. He would then go on to say how his intentions were pure and that maybe the person should have expressed themselves then he would know not to do that thing. Yes, the thing, he would not like done to him.
I hate that such an innocent, word is used as manipulation. When you speak you are gaslit, or made out to be sensitive. When you dont speak, you are immature and don’t understand conflict resolution. My approach is to close the door and never look back. I am not saying it is the best response, but this is my, show, my life. If I dont direct it, who will? DEFINITELY not a person who claims to not be able to read a room, or is so selfish to not be able to treat others kindly. Or is so out of tune with their emotions that they project. THAT person cannot run my show. They can’t even direct a scene. Please they need to be locked away.
But you never addressed the situation, how would I know?
At a certain point, you are wasting time in verbal communication.
Thus, communicating is not limited to text or spoken word. Communication can include actions, energy so many common avenues, even dreams can communicate. With the Communication Nations logic, if a person does something negative, and you the victim react. The aggressor is innocents until the Victim opens their mouth and says you did this and it effected me in this way. Now I would like you to think about how ridiculous that sounds and then slap yourself so I don’t have to do it. (The communication nation has a bunch of rebuttals but this is my blog, so they should sleep it off for now)
This behavior is barbaric. To behave in such a way that you would not like dont to you, and then say, well, you could have communicated it. What is there to communicate when this is not something even YOU would not like? It is dehumanizing. You see the human in you and not in me. After going through abuse, now I should explain to you how I was abused? When YOU KNOW it is abusive, mean, inconsiderate, nasty, because you would not have it done to you?
Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine?
The issue is people are not even honest with themselves, and so out of touch that they don’t even make honest mistakes anymore. Do you understand how fried your brain must be for you to not even know what you don’t know? And this is possible. It is similar to projecting. You experience a trauma or strong emotion and you push it down or dont sit with it. You spend time engageing in other forms of media such as social media, busy yourself with work, constantly have music and TV in your head that YOU don’t know what is troubling you. We are not just bodies with brains, we have a spirit and a soul, they know what is going on. So on a subconscious level, you may know exactly what troubles you, but in your brain there is a disconnect.
I think it’s interesting to note, whenever you speak to someone from the Communication Nation and they are explaining their side of the story. They always KNOW that someone is mad at them and they KNOW the person did not communicate. Their argument is oftentimes they don’t KNOW why the person didn’t communicate siting that the person may be guilty, was never a true friend, or is immature. But someway and somehow out of the air they are able to piece together why the person could potentially be mad. And they are always accurate on that part too. I wonder how they figure it out, its almost like you know why they are mad. You knew when it happened and how it did and you just didn’t think this time they’d stand on business. You didn’t know that this time you would have to actually suffer the consequences of your behavior.
Picture me this: You meet a guy, who after a few weeks of said guy neglecting you, you decide to block his number. Months go by, you reconnect, and he’s like, I don’t know what I did. Ladies, you’d look at him crazy. You didn’t think that when you never responded to my text messages, or plan any hangouts or made yourself available, that would communicate to me that you are not interested? You now want me to list out, everything that you did to make me feel like you are uninterested as if I am here to prove that I am rightful in my feeling uninterested?
I hope you are seeing why these people should not be directing anyone else life.
With this new wave of Communication Nation we are forgetting the classics like “Actions speak louder than words.” So we should hold people to their actions.
Lets not forget the golden one, TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED.
And if we want to get biblical LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, AS YOURSELF.
These are golden rules because your actions MATTER. That is a communication! There is no communication after that communication.
After listening to the Ice Spice v. Cleo thing. I think Cleo did her big one communicating with Ice, but look at where that got her. It gave somone with ill intentions the floor to speak. And these people almost never say anything worth a dime nickle or penny. Not to even mention the insults Cleo now recieved because she took the COMMUNICATION route. I feel for Cleo because I wish she never had to be in a sution for her to even feel a certain way and now has to prove and explain to a person named ICE with FRIED Brain on why she is VALID IN FEELING HER EMOTIONS. When CLEARLY even all of us in the world can see that Ice’s actions and intentions were LOUD.
I think when people are weird, you have been through enough, don’t give weirdos another stage, another performance, or another mic to spew stupidity and confusion. You notice, guilty people never make any sense when you give them the opportunity to explain their weirdness. Actions speak volumes. You don’t have to say much else when they show you. And just like with the Spice v. Cleo situation people send the same message multiple times when you don’t get it the first time.
Situations where I think communication is necessary:
You have a genuine belief that this person has misunderstood and/or there is a misunderstanding
When you feel safe with this person. You know that they will listen and be mindful – they’ll be DEMURE or DEADASS about you lol
*If you see and want this person by your side 5-10 years from now. Talk it out.
Some times too, just take what is being communicated! Never let someone tell you more than once that they don’t, honor, respect or see you as human. (the last one is real, a lot of people don’t see others as HUMAN, but we will talk about it another day.)
Repeated behavior is communication! The same thing remixed is communication. I had one person disrespect three different family members in three different ways. The first time I communicated the second time I left it alone the third time… Honestly by that time I didn’t say anything but what I will say is. Sometimes you communicate and the person doesn’t do the same thing in the same way. CLOCK it, EVERYTIME.
Sly comments and remarks. COMMUNICATION. It has even gotten to the point, that a person will make a rude remarks out of their mouth. A remarks they themselves would not like. Pass it off, and then when they realize they are not in good graces with you. They’ll say, but why didn’t you communicate that in the moment.
(THIS YEAR a coworker said I remind her of a monkey, I addressed it that night after work. She asked me why I didnt say anything in the moment. And again I say, Curse you, COMMUNICATION NATION)
This is my rant. I really dislike the communication nation.
Please
Be serious.
No one is going to waste their time to speak to you. Some of us want to save our breath for the prayers we are sending in hopes that a miracle can be done to unfry a brain.
Time is money. Never waste either. One wasted, wastes the other.
Next, maybe we can talk Forgiveness, but I need a cute name for my forgiveness blog post.
Okay, toodles poodles. xoxo Ghanagal97
